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Kitchen Accessories

Kitchen Sayings

  • A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious!
  • No husband has ever been shot in the kitchen while doing the dishes.
  • A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole kitchen.
  • If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
  • A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
  • Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
  • Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
  • A clean kitchen is a sign of a misspent life.
  • Help keep the kitchen clean - Take me out for dinner.
  • Housework done properly can kill you.
  • Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
  • My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.

Cool Quotes

  • A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  • A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
  • A penny saved is ridiculous.
  • All that glitters has a high refractive index.
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  • Anarchy is better than no government at all.
  • Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
  • Automobile - A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people.
  • Brain -- the apparatus with which we think that we think.
  • Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
  • Death is nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
  • Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
  • Familiarity breeds children.
  • Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • Help support helpless victims of computer error.
  • If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you were headed.
  • It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
  • It works better if you plug it in.
  • It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
  • Jury -- Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
  • Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
  • Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.
  • Reality's the only obstacle to happiness.
  • Some grow with responsibility, others just swell.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
  • The road to to success is always under construction.
  • When all else fails, read the instructions.

Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies

  • During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
  • When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
  • If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.
  • All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.
  • The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
  • All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
  • It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.
  • The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - no one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
  • Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.
  • The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
  • All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
  • If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
  • You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
  • Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.
  • If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
  • A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
  • When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
  • Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
  • If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
  • Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
  • Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
  • All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
  • A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of the MCG stadium.
  • Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
  • Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
  • It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
  • Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
  • It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
  • A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
  • It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
  • When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
  • No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
  • Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
  • You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
  • Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
  • Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.

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